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"How Hard Did Aging Hit You"

Updated: Feb 1, 2019


When I opened facebook up last night I quickly became aware of the "How Hard Did Aging Hit You" Challenge. I scrolled and scrolled to find that lots of people were participating. It's amazing how much some people look exactly the same and some look quite different. The judgement was ultra light until I decided to check out my own "then and now" pics. The first ever profile pic that I saw was actually from 2006 so I excused myself from that one lol.


Then, I dug deeper to get at my 2009 pics. Thing about me is that I'm obsessed with photos so I look at photos (old and new) all the time. My sisters can attest since I probably annoy them frequently in our sister group chat with photos from the "old school" all the time. So, when I arrived at the 2009 photos, although those photos are not distant images in my mind, this time it was different. With the frame and filter of "How Hard Did Aging Hit You" in mind, as I gazed at a 10 year younger me, something felt uneasy.


2009 was one of the most beautiful and painful years of my life. I hysical appearance.... from head to toe. Then, AGE.... oh snap where did the time go? Then, nostalgia of the "good old days" followed by "Damn, I should have my film out by now...my book should be released already....what ever happened to that bomb dress...and on and on and on." Ok, STOP Spirit. All this just because of a "How Hard Did Aging Hit You" challenge. And, then my compassionate self stepped in to stop the fight. She said to me...who are you kidding? Girl, you got your masters degree in 2010...You flew in a Blue Angels Airplane...You founded a Film Festival, you worked at Spike Lee's 40 Acres and A Mule. You had the courage to take a promotion in Seattle where you knew noone. You had the courage to love again and married the man of your dreams. You started Roots of the Spirit.


Anyway.... after those snapshots subsided I then went on to judge my physical appearce.... from head to toe. Then, AGE.... oh snap where did the time go? Then, nostalgia of the "good old days" followed by "Damn, I should have my film out by now...my book should be released already....what ever happened to that bomb dress...and on and on and on." Ok, STOP Spirit. All this just because of a "How Hard Did Aging Hit You" challenge. And, then my compassionate self stepped in to stop the fight. She said to me...who are you kidding? Girl, you got your masters degree in 2010...You flew in a Blue Angels Airplane...You founded a Film Festival, you worked at Spike Lee's 40 Acres and A Mule. You had the courage to take a promotion in Seattle where you knew noone. You had the courage to love again and married the man of your dreams. You started Roots of the Spirit.


You go to therapy on a consistent basis to heal childhood wounds and limiting beliefs. You are an incredibly amazing enhanced, more wise, grounded, spiritual, understanding, nurturing, caring, successful, skilled, educated, enlightened, loving person than you were 10 years ago. All of the experiences that you've endured have been fuel for this wonderful version of you. You heart has been scared and trampled but you've come out much stronger and powerful than ever before. Be kind to yourself. Celebrate your victories. Recognize that this world has turned your insecurities into a business, literally commodifying your self judgement and pain.


And don't forget that if you look out into the facebook world you can see that we are all seeking the same thing. We want to be seen, heard, validated. We want to know that we matter, our lives, our work - our beings. I used to think that comparing with others was deterimental, but another layer is comparing yourself to who you "used" to be - which is usually a well varnished, shiny nostalgic false recollection anyway. Stop thinking of how things used to be so great. Try to imagine how much BETTER it can be - that the future can be so much MORE than you ever thought possible.


Thank goodness for the compassionate Spirit that has grown and blossomed over the last 10 years because she wasn't with me in 2009 to tell me that it would be ok and to say as I recently heard on a podcast - reverse the golden rule and say "Treat yourself as you would treat others." At our core is love and as Buddha said, "If compassion does not include yourself it is incomplete." I've been very clear from the beginning that Roots of the Spirit will be my growth and journey out in the world for others to learn and grow from as well. I'm not gonna be selfish with my beautiful and tumultuous journey.


So, please love yourself harder today. Count every grey hair as another notch of wisdom, ever wrinkle a sign that you've been smiling hard over the last decade.


Roots and Love,

Spirit






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